I am insecure. Are you?

This might be surprising to a lot of you, but yes i am insecure. Insecure not just about one, but many things about myself. The way I look, talk, think, act (mostly about my looks). The reason you probably know this is either because I told you or you heard me through a few jokes here and criticizing myself. But I think its high time I told you how it really feels to be insecure.

When somebody said something in hopes of flattery towards me, I wouldn't say 'thank you' I would simply deny it with a smile. When somebody said they loved me, I wouldn't say 'love you too' I would simply ask 'why me?' When somebody told me that they wanted to be like me, I would convince them that I wasn't the best person to look upto and would laugh it off.

But when somebody told me 'being fat is ugly'; 'you should improve your grades'; You aren't smart and pretty'; or even ' You should really think of losing weight', I never bothered asking 'WHY?' I let it hurt me and make me feel miserable about myself when I was never born to think that way.

Honestly, I have tried changing myself for someone else, for society, for the world that has a "perfect" ideology for everything but only to end up exhausting myself of my own happiness. I was going to become just another trivial creation of society and devoid myself of 'me'. And here is the funniest part even if I did become trivial creation of society I wouldn't end up loving myself or getting rid of my insecurities. And you probably ask 'WHY?'

Reason is society's opinion is ever-changing, drifting. Today a size zero is ideal, tomorrow it will be dying trend. Today freckles are ugly, tomorrow they will be considered beautiful because it gives ' character to your .face!'. So, here is the question, would you change yourself everytime just so you would become less insecure or 'fit in'?

If yes I can assure you, you will not get over your insecurities because they are part of you, and by changing yourself everytime you will end up removing "yourself" from "you". So in the end where will you find and fight your insecurities?

Everyone of us is insecure because everyone is vulnerable social animal. In fact, I even saw a TED talk given by Cameron Russell, a model who has been a part of the fashion industry for 10 years. You probably expect her to be so confident or anyone who has got all the 'perfect' and 'ideal' features to be slef-assured and satisfied with themselves. But in actuality, she herslef admitted that she was insecure.

It's important for you to understand, you can't get over insecurities, you can only accept them. It saves you from all the pain, guilt, and filth the world has indirectly taught you to face. You see what I mean?  

Please, teach this history in short!

Before, the day of exam, my neighbour Pinky aunt's younger son Vandit came to me eating burger.

"Didi, Please teach me this history in short!" he requested.

Saying this he opened a brand new and fresh book.

History in SHORT. These were the two words having opposite meanings with their explicit significance which were anagogic to that little boy.

"History is the collection of old things, so why is your book looking new?" I asked curiously on seeing the newfangled and untouched book.

"Just as history is saved in a museum, I've cared this book." he answered.

In this way the book equipped with tender loving care was handled to me.

"Fight to finish, please teach me fast!" he said over enthusiastically.

"How come five hundred years' history can be taught in a day?" I exclaimed.

 "Not in a day, one hour didi." he jolted me subsequently.

I asked, "What are you gonna do thereupon?"

"I've play-station, Xbox and many more productive things." said Vandit.

In past children used to spend time in playground. I was partially able to teach him history, but he certainly taught me present and future of nation in an hour. We started from Lakshmibai, "What's the length?" he asked. I exclaimed as such there is no need to care for her length.

 "Not her length but the length of her short note. Oh! Its 6 and a half inch. Please take her as an option, take other one." he answered.

Then came Gandhiji, "I'll finish him in 4-5 lines." he declared. Godse finished him with 3 shots, instead he wanted to do the same task in few lines. "I would finish it by writing 2-3 lines of Sonia Gandhi and 2-3 lines of Rahul Gandhi. Tathastu!!

Furthermore, came Gopal Krishna Gokhle. "In the name itself there's gokhle le (mug-up)". said Vandit.

In the history book, Veer Sawarkar, Lokmanya Tilak, all were waiting for their turn with a juvenile smile but Vandit went out with his friends and said , "Gandhi and Gokhle are done! Sawarkar and Tilak put on hold."