Somebody to love, till my last breath! (Prologue)

Deeksha's Pov
Hi Barbie
Hi Ken!
Do you wanna go for a ride?
Sure Ken!
Jump in....

I'm a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world
Life is plastics, it's fantastic!
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Barbie, let's go party!

I immediately got up and yawned, turning off the sound of my alarm ringtone before checking my phone.

I had received 3 messages on whatsapp.
2 were from college group about the lectures timetable.
And the last message was from Tiara.

Tia: I hate you Deeksha :(

"Oh shit, What's the time now. OMG...7:00 am. Tia will kill me..You are so dead Ms. Deeksha Mehra". I got out of bed, murmuring.

Tiara Sen is one of the richest girl of our batch and unfortunately my only friend. She is perfect example of beauty without brains because she is dating the dumbest boy of our college. Why to waste time thinking about that jerk?

I quickly headed towards the washroom and got ready. I wore my favourite white top with black skinny jeans and tied my hair into a pony tail.
I enetered kitchen which was opposite to my room.

"Maa, why didn't you wake me up last night?" I screamed while entering the kitchen.
Maa was busy cooking breakfast as usuual, she didn't even glance at me.
"Stop it sissy, you were sleeping so peacefully so we didn't wake you". My sister Aditi spoke instead.

"Maa I wanted to wish Tiara, she was eagerly waiting for my call!" I stopped talking when Maa tossed some food on my plate.
I sat next to Aditi at the dining table.

"So, What's the big deal Deekshu?
You both spend the whole day together and Today is your first day of your third year in college. You needed a proper sleep. Anyways, I don't like thart friend of yours on the first place." Maa finally uttered those bitter words.

Maa thinks Tiara always takes advantage of my innocence which is true at some point but I don't have any other friend than Tiara.
I got up from my seat and hugged Maa from behind.

"Maa, you know very clearly she has no one in this world to care for her. Her parents don't even call her as they are quite busy in expanding their business and I am the only one who celebrates her birthday", I spoke sadly.
She nodded and smiled then she left kitchen.

"Don't you lie sis! Yesterday, I saw her with some guy on a motorbike and besides she's selfish not like you who never thinks about yourself." Aditi whispers in my ears.

"You don't need to peek in somebody's personal space." I warned her. She gave me an angry glare and continued hovering over the food.
Tiara with a guy on Motorbike.

I knew, who it could be,
Her idiot Boyfriend,
The only man that annoys me to the core.....
Riddhant Tuneja.

Balance is very important to survive in this world.

As a human being, we get angry, we cry, we love, we have patience and sometimes get impatient as well. We just need to have a little control on our emotions, am not saying act numb or don't react. Sometimes it's important to not give a damn on things. Humans get attached in very short period of time, irrespective of whatever relationship, we get attached very soon. I have seen people deing soulfully for either loving or hating, swallowing tears inside them. Breakdown happens in life. Just another way to make you alive. Yes, breakdown makes you feel alive and alive is awesome. I am not saying go for a trauma to lead a life. I am just saying enjoy and handle every aspect of life. Find what you love and let it ruin you. After that stage you'll feel new in you. Something strong in you and yes, that is called strength. You'll gain more confidence inside. That's the beauty of moving on. Though I am sounding very unintelligent but balancing on things is a right way of living. Don't love too much and at the same time don't hate so much. Be calm and positive. But sometime get restless and be negative!  

A moment and the next-

One moment, you have it, and life snatches it away the next.

One moment, you can hear it, but noise scoots it away.

One moment, you can see it, and blurs come down as rain.

One moment, you can feel it, but the pain pushes it away.

One moment, so you can have it, but distance drags it away.

One more moment, so you can hear it, and the mind decides to wander away.

One more moment, so you can see it, those eyes, they notice the trigger instead.

One last moment, so you can feel it, and the gunshot echoes away..

                                                                         -Kosha

Bulimian Pedagogy

Friends, we have many synonyms for education (a detailed list can be prepared certainly ) but there's only one antonym .....ignorance. So education is very much important in one's life. But, today's pedagogy (theory of learning) is loosing its true meaning. Nowadays, bulimia (a type of disorder which causes overeating and then vomit it out for better ) is seen in most of the student's stomach.

Gobble, gobble, gobble, wobble, sploosh, woosh and then take it over to the supplementary kept before your desk is the scenario in each classroom. The students start cramming stuff before the exams and empty their tank by vomiting it in the exam hall. And then the next dose of the temporary refill arrives in the next exams.

The main reason for bulimian pedagogy is the fear. The fear of exam is settled like a lead in the pit of their stomach. The other reason is the pressure to take a conventional line like (of course) Engi. and medicine, which loses the interest of the pupil leading to less exposure towards the external influences. The next factor that curbs the right to freedom is attendance. If the marks are scored by pupils then why to force them to sit in classroom. If the marks are only thing necessary, why bring attendance into the picture!!!It's just marks that matter,remember??

 Pedagogy(in India at least) needs to undergo revamp. So that one can see the satisfaction and real happiness(which is rarely seen) in today's youth. And this result in Overall Productivity BEYOND THE CLASSROOM. A student must not be confined to a specific domain.

Remembering the fact that we all are not Einstein's clones, all the gurus should break free the mental chains and let the imaginations fly because there are no limits(not even the sky) if you make a dash for freedom. However, neither the parents nor the student's fault is seen as everyone needs to eat and there are no free meals provided in this earth. But i am afraid for the students who are the future generations of our HINDUSTAN...                      

Harmony of giving

Once on a Sunday shiny morning, a lady with her little girl around 6 years old boarded the bus. It was her Sunday routine schedule to drop her daughter for the coaching institute. She was late today, lest she could hardly find any seat. On seeing her worried, a gentle old man offered her seat as he was alone on a double seat. The man was neatly dressed and seemed at the age of retirement. The face was bright with the expression of jovial nature. He welcomed them with a juvenile smile on his bright face. The lady with usual mode of expression responded and the baby with innocent childish smiled. The man looked for a chocolate in his polythene bag that he carried with him. While searching for it, he pulled out a bunch of white flowers,put it aside, and looked for the chocolate. She asked for the flowers.Her mother reprimanded and positioned her to sit silently. But the man with pleasure handed over the bunch of white flowers to the baby. The lady embarrassed howsoever, thanked the man. Meanwhile, the man stood up as the bus reached to his stop. He disembarked the bus and the lady got engaged talking with her baby. On the next Sunday also coincidentally, the lady found the same man with a bunch of flowers.This time also the baby smiled at the man and asked for the bunch of flowers. The man with the same cheerful expression gave it to her. By and large, it became a friendly relation between the old man and the little baby. Every Sunday the baby smiled and the man gave her the bunch of flowers. It happened approximately for one month. One Sunday the old gentle man couldn't find the baby with the lady. He anxiously asked the lady about the baby. She told him that the baby had gone with her dad, she was on her usual trip for shopping this day. She observed the same cheerful expressions on the face of the man. The man was precisely observing the bunch of the flowers this time. The bus stopped at his stop. The man got down and walked towards his route. As the bus slowly moved, the lady tried to see what place this man happened to visit every Sunday. And when she looked for him from the dusty window of the bus, she saw the old man entering into the graveyard.
     

             

A Glimpse of heaven

So, what is love?

Love is eternal. Love, its beautiful, its all about grand gestures. Proposals on hoardings, writings on the sky, its all about walking on soft rose petals that lead you to a wonderful garden. Love is like an endless waterfall. Its all about going an extra mile, even if it hurts. Love is more like a comma, than a full stop. Its when somebody else's warmth is felt by your heart. Love is a rollercoaster ride. We have our ups and downs, and it even gets really scary. But its kind of thing that sooner or later vanishes all fear away to make room for raptuos experiences. Love is like a magic wand. It casts a spell on us and leaves us building castles in air. Its all about slow songs, never ending dreams and out of the world expectations. Love is the eagerness we have hidden in us. Its the reservation made for the ONE person.

Love is probably the closest we could come to magic. Its like being in a mood when you're feeling okay but you're really sad at the same time and you just want to talk to someone and make them hug you but you get annoyed, so you just sit there, thinking about how it all began. Love is like being thrown off balance. Its like being at sixes and sevens, utterly flummoxed.

But love is an allurement, an enchantment! Sometimes all we have to do is believe it completely. Love is like getting lost in the sheets of lust, in the cravings of the moon. In between the depth of the skies and the thoughts of the only one person dawdles around your head.

Love is like an affinity to spend the rest of your life trying to see the world through someone else's eyes.Its been said that there's one word that will free us all from the weight and pain of life. And that word is love. Love is all about promises, vows and beliefs. When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same. Love is set in concrete as long as we give credence to it, and attach the tonnage of our lives to it.

LOVE.

Its indestructable, intoxicating, exhilarating, body tingling, stead fast, limitless and divine. Love is not an addiction. Addiction sounds so negative. Its something more passionate, not addicting. Something more libidinous, not addicting. Something like cupidity, but never addicting.

So believe in love, fall in traps of love, get out of them, learn about it, celebrate it, and make it worth. Love is swivel of a kingdom come. Its beyond paradise. And all we have to do is lap up to love and keep faith in it to the nth degree.

 Never let go of love. The whole world is made up of it. Just live with it unconditionally. Because love is an infinite ecstacy.

I am insecure. Are you?

This might be surprising to a lot of you, but yes i am insecure. Insecure not just about one, but many things about myself. The way I look, talk, think, act (mostly about my looks). The reason you probably know this is either because I told you or you heard me through a few jokes here and criticizing myself. But I think its high time I told you how it really feels to be insecure.

When somebody said something in hopes of flattery towards me, I wouldn't say 'thank you' I would simply deny it with a smile. When somebody said they loved me, I wouldn't say 'love you too' I would simply ask 'why me?' When somebody told me that they wanted to be like me, I would convince them that I wasn't the best person to look upto and would laugh it off.

But when somebody told me 'being fat is ugly'; 'you should improve your grades'; You aren't smart and pretty'; or even ' You should really think of losing weight', I never bothered asking 'WHY?' I let it hurt me and make me feel miserable about myself when I was never born to think that way.

Honestly, I have tried changing myself for someone else, for society, for the world that has a "perfect" ideology for everything but only to end up exhausting myself of my own happiness. I was going to become just another trivial creation of society and devoid myself of 'me'. And here is the funniest part even if I did become trivial creation of society I wouldn't end up loving myself or getting rid of my insecurities. And you probably ask 'WHY?'

Reason is society's opinion is ever-changing, drifting. Today a size zero is ideal, tomorrow it will be dying trend. Today freckles are ugly, tomorrow they will be considered beautiful because it gives ' character to your .face!'. So, here is the question, would you change yourself everytime just so you would become less insecure or 'fit in'?

If yes I can assure you, you will not get over your insecurities because they are part of you, and by changing yourself everytime you will end up removing "yourself" from "you". So in the end where will you find and fight your insecurities?

Everyone of us is insecure because everyone is vulnerable social animal. In fact, I even saw a TED talk given by Cameron Russell, a model who has been a part of the fashion industry for 10 years. You probably expect her to be so confident or anyone who has got all the 'perfect' and 'ideal' features to be slef-assured and satisfied with themselves. But in actuality, she herslef admitted that she was insecure.

It's important for you to understand, you can't get over insecurities, you can only accept them. It saves you from all the pain, guilt, and filth the world has indirectly taught you to face. You see what I mean?